Wednesday, 7 March 2007

Just thoughts

Oh, bugger. This post was in danger of turning into a rant about mine and my mother's relationship, or rather, lack of one.

Why is this relationship such a shite one for most daughters? And, what the fuck do we need Mother's Day for? It's a lie if you don't mean it, and can be wracked with guilt if it passes without acknowledgement.

This year, I will not find myself searching for a card without 'I love you' printed in it. I shall not send a card at all. Without Guilt. I believe it is now time for me to finally grow up and get on with it as far as my own mother is concerned. She's a grown up woman, who makes her own decisions. She can get on with it, too.

My bitterness and rage are here no longer. From this moment.

I have my own family and we love and nurture each other. It really is more than sufficient.


Jilly said...

I have never understood the 'blood is thicker than water' thing. Total rubbish putting it politely.

tea and cake said...

Hi Jilly, I did think 'blood is thicker than water' until a few years ago, when I realised that our family is actually like most others - some you love, others you tolerate and the rest well, you let them get on with it.

And,you are very polite!

Jen said...

I'm in much the same place with my own mother... I tend to do a token thing for Mothers' Day. ie send her a book I've already read but think she'd like or a copy of a CD! Kind of says that the thought's there but there's no insincere gushing of 'You're the best' and no slagging me off to my other siblings that I 'couldn't be bothered'!

Crumbs, I hope my own children never feel this way about me :(

tea and cake said...

Thankfully, Jen, we Learn from these kind of situations. I bet, like me, you have fantastic relationships with your children.

Oh, it's not all sweetness and light, by any means. But, it is a more 'adult' relationship, with respect for each other.

And, with my Best efforts not to interefere ... or listen when I am!

Mildred de Tosta said...

My mother banned Mother's day right from the beginning. This has meant I have spent my whole life not having to worry about it and she doesn't either. She says it was invented by card manufacturors and is not something we need to be involved with. Good for her. Thanks Mom!

tea and cake said...

Hi Mildred and welcome, Well done from me, too, to your mum. Wish I'd done the same - though if they do happen to forget, they are forgiven! I'm just thankful that I am in their lives, anyway.

With my mum, though, it does mean her losing face, or lying to the rest of the family. Which is Most Important - to her, not me.