Thursday, 27 September 2007

This is my own space, right?

So, this means I can be as horrible and, well, honest as I like, right?

Well, here fucking goes...

The man who ran over my nephew has now handed himself in, been charged and released on bail. Which, thank goodness, means it was an accident, rather than on purpose.

I have been tracking all this info on the bbc website and gleaned it from my brother.

My sister and my mother have made it quite clear that neither of them wishes to speak to me.

I am not invited to the funeral.

Bastards. Is all I can say. Bastards.

At the risk of this becoming 'all about me.' Which, of course, it certainly is not. I have sent a card and some flowers. Just so they know that we are grieving Carl as well.

They can tear them up, throw them against the wall, send them back, bin them.


Monday, 24 September 2007

And, following on

Yes, following on from the last post.

The last post. That cannot be played just yet.

We got news last night of my nephew, Carl, who was killed by a hit-and-run driver early on Sunday morning.

Though his body was found at about 5.30 am, he wasn't identified until 4 pm, as he had no id on him.

He will have to have a post mortem then, when the perpetrator is found, they may want their own done.

So his body may not be released for some time.

This is devastating for his parents, my sister and her husband. And their family. My thoughts are with them, as are my family's thoughts. We cannot contact them as we have been estranged for some years. And, she doesn't want me to ring.

I remember when Carl was born. His mother and father had come to visit while mum was accompanying dad on his lorry rounds. She had some stange pains, she told me. We sent her home and he was born during that balmy August night, some 28 years ago.

Rip Carl 1979 -2007.

Tuesday, 18 September 2007

Just a moment...

It's rare. That time, that moment when you know you are happy, your family and friends are happy and all is right with the world.

Like the rainbow we saw yesterday. It started on our left and we saw the complete half circle, to where it ended on our right. As the sun glimmered through the clouds onto the mountain, it reflected off the white house nestled on it. It encompassed the house I call home and the whole afternoon was sparkly bright.

It moved me to comment that we will remember this moment in the years to come.

As we turned a corner we disturbed a baby roe dear, and the white powder puff on its bum waved up and down as it silently took itself out of our sight, and off to find its mother.

Today, I was smacked in the face by two horrible bits of news - the (expected, unfortunately) death of a neighbour, a man who, a year ago, had been vital, fully active and had the physical strength of an ox. Fergus died today of motor neurone disease. And then I heard about a serious marriage problem of a family member that, though not life threatening, is devastating. And, it will be ongoing for some time to come.

I've had two very close friends staying this week, and they go home tomorrow, and I shall miss them so much.

But, we will remember yesterday, as being perfect. If only for just a moment.

Thursday, 13 September 2007

Ker-rikey, and puffed cheeks

I cannot believe that I haven't posted here for so long! Ker-ikey is soo right. It's not as though nothing has happened in the last, well, few weeks. Loads has, but I can't think of anything to write about it. Boring or what?

Today, after being in quite a stressful meeting all morning, I turn on my mobile to fnd two messages. One, from my bezzy mate and her daughter to say they are on the train! So, they'll be here in.... very soon, hurrah!

The other is from someone who deffo has a problem with me. Her behaviour indicates that she feels threatened by me. I have had this in various situations before and usually ignore it.

However, this one lives locally and is involved in several of the groups and stuff that I am involved with. One of which includes a craft group. Her craft group. And, I made the mistake of winning a third prize, over her in a comp. Oops. I can't help being brilliant, can I? Ha, ha. I actually don't go around blowing my own trumpet, swag or boast about stuff I do. This is because I don't usually get the practice of winning stuff.

But, I also won a couple of thirds in the Domestic (Goddess) section of local show. And, even though postie had warned me to swap sugar for salt in the recipe the first time of entering. I didn't and she was a tad miffed.

Today's puffed cheeks were due to this person, whom I shall call Angel, booking a lunch in a place that I simply did not want to go. Reasons include that a better place is more central for eveyone, there is a garden we can sit in if it suddenly deigns to become sunny, or one of the two babies can be taken to if they hate it indoors and, I won't have to play taxi to all and sundry. I felt put upon.

I couldn't think of any way to put up and shut up with grace. What I did want to do was stamp my feet and scream that I wouldn't go, and if I did I wouldn't eat anything, and I would take just myself.

What I did in the end was to sensibly state my case, missing out the bits about feeling that I would be taken advantage of re; lifts etc.

The venue was quickly changed, with no tears, tantrums or tearing of hair.

O, so i can be a growed up then.