Mr T sits across from me in the kitchen of the main house, smoking a fag and drinking coffee. Legs akimbo.
‘Blimmin’ ‘eck!’ I say, ‘you simply cannot wear those jeans anymore!’
‘But, I love these jeans, and they do me fine for work.’ He replies, defensively.
‘Let me take a photo of the holes in the seams and the crutch and then …’
‘Don’t be a twat! Gerroff me!’
Exasperated, I squeak ‘I’m not the twat, you are indecent. They’ve got to go, you look like a perve, look, and I can nearly see all your bits. Plus, there are worn out patches on the legs.’ I nag, apparently.
While he’s away for a few days I order him some new ones from the M£S website – one pair black and one pair blue, which will be delivered by 28th March. Good-o.
I rake the bedroom floor for washing to put into the machine, and find the forlorn jeans. I go to throw them in the bin. Relenting, I wash them. And IRON them. For God’s sake! Because I am worried he’ll not have any to wear if the new ones don’t arrive sharpish. And, his bum does look particularly gorgeous in them …
This morning, I am sitting in bed, sipping my first cuppa of the day ah, nectar. Enter Mr T. He has found his pile of ironing (I wash, I iron, I don’t put away.) He is bearing his precious, pervie jeans in his outstretched arms; his face a picture of joy and happiness.
He strokes them reverently; eyes alight, reminding me of the magic of Christmas.
‘Well, summer’s coming and I’ll need to keep cool,’ he says. Then he proceeds to refold them, stroking them all the while. He places them in his drawer, saving them for best.
4 comments:
What is is with men and clothes? Mine has several items that I abhor, and he adores. I'll put them at the bottom of the cupboard, with lovely, new, clean, good clothes on top of them, in the hope he will just grab those and wear them, but, no, he still manages to unearth the 1980s jeans. Sigh.
I know! I love old jeans, too. But, then there's the decency factor!
He also will never go shopping for clothes, urrrgh. We were going to my cousin's wedding and he wanted to wear the suit he Did Buy in 1980 something, pah! So, M£S came to the fore again, and he looked spiffing but, it'll be a long time before he buys another suit, grr!
Hello tea and cake- nice to meet you! thanks for dropping by my young and naive blog!
back to the matter in hand- mine insists on wearing a pair of boxer shorts that have a massive rip in the back and the front, basically making them into a skirt. it's a little ritual, i put them in the bin- he puts them back on. urgh.
Hi Eliza, and welcome to this old, fuggy person's blog!
Mr T had a problem with painful feet and I told him it was his shoes. He didn't believe me and persisted in wearing them So, I cut them up! He was cross but the skinflint then bought a new pair of shoes and, guess what? His feet recovered!
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