Saturday, 24 February 2007

Mid-Life Crises

I thought mid-life crises were for wimps. You know, those that are not only middle-aged in years but in mind, too. Wrong. It just hits you anyway. I am nearly 50 but feel, oh about 23 but with loads of life experience. I've got the partner I've had for years and years and still want to keep him; my children are grown up and, well, fairly adult and self-sustaining, with good relationships and families of their own; I've trained, done and left the job I always wanted, and now have the chance to do the one I've always dreamed of; I have lovely friends, with whom I am close, and am quite able to leave alone the ones who don't care for me or allow me to care about them.

Hooever, the mid-life thingy is more about me losing the role of Mother that I have had for all of my adult life, since I had my first child at age 19 and my second at age 20. I have nurtured and worried about them, am proud of and, at times, been furious with them, as well as pestered them and interefered in their lives. I have a crazy mother (really) and had a not very nice father (deceased) who, together or separately, were not fit to be parents to children so, no role models there. This is not a rant about my horrible childhood, and since. Promise.

Middle age, though, seems to be a time to take stock (oh fuck, cliche alert) and, as my 50th birthday approaches in the middle of this year, I find I can finally, emotionally, leave the kids to it and, I'm, well, Free of all responsibilty. O.

This also means, of course, that my kids are now free of me!

'Free at Last, Free at bloody Last!'

I hear them cry, nay, Shout. With tears of Joyous Relief, I should think!


Cathy said...

Having had my kids in my 30's, I reckon I will be 60 before I am free. If I ever am. Make the most of it!

tea and cake said...

Hello Cathy! Thanx for your comment I dreaded to hell being 40, but am ok-ish with 50. Some of my pals are 60 and, yes, just getting to the same stage as me with their kids, and they look ok ... so ...
I do know a 91 year old woman who completed her OU English degree at age 82, so ... there is hope yet!
Must be published before then, eh? (apologies if You already are)

Doris said...

Blogger appeared to eat my first post, so apologies if the gist of this appears twice!

I'm going through something similar, what with my offspring reaching official adulthood this year and me hitting 40. Lots of adjustment of inner dials will have to ensue.

tea and cake said...

Hi Doris, great to see you here! It creaped up on me somewhat, and this is the 2nd time it has happened - in that when they moved into being adults, the way I was needed altered. But now, they are 'established' adults, this need has lessened again, especially Cash-wise. Now, I've just got a few years until I am poor again on a pension. Bugger!