Well ... what am I Thankful For?

I think it's about time I wrote something nice. I have been feeling sad and fed up lately, since my auntie Moreen's death, and am taking myself and Nanny's Best Girl off down to Seaburn, in Sunderland for a few days next week. NBG will finish school at noon on Friday (Scotland schools finish the year in June and return in August.) When I informed NBG that I shall pick her up as soon as she finishes school, she wondered if she should take her suitcase to school with her! But, we will have a cuppa with mummy before setting off on the four hour journey, aided by sat nav, to my brother's flat to stay for a few days of rest, walking, reading and no t'internet access at all, as well as limited phone access. I just feel I need to blow away the cobwebs and refresh myself. Also, to spend some 1-2-1 time with NBG who has been overshadowed by her baby sister's arrival one year, one week and two days ago.

This got me to thinking about all the things I have to be thankful for, especially after reading some blogs where others have lost people, such as Julia who also recently lost someone very dear to her.

So, not only do I have to be thankful for the following, but I am very, very thankful for the following, in my usual, dis-organised and random fashion, here goes;

My husband - we celebrated 33 years of marriage yesterday. This is a marriage of love, companionship, arguing, need, want, being cherished, hating one another at times, being very irritated by each other, laughter, comfort, delicious sex, big hugs, support, care, games, discussion, agreement, disagreement, full on just love spending time together, holding hands, growing much older together than we ever expected to (having both come from divorcing families) grey hair, drooping bodies, my experimental cooking, etc, etc. We've made it this far, thank goodness.

My children - both are lovely, lovely people, who weren't particularly hard to bring up, she says crossing her fingers behind her back! They've both made choices that have had us pulling out our hair, biting our nails and depleating our bank balance, but they are adults and are well equipped for 'getting on with it.' They both have partners they love and who love them, and beautiful, adorable children of their own, and allow us to interfere not only in their lives, but the lives of their children!

My brothers and sisters - we don't always get on, but we love each other and, when the chips are really down, we defend and support each other to the hilt. My sister and I fell out, big-time, some years ago and didn't have good contact during this time. It was very upsetting all round but, we recently met at auntie Moreen's funeral and have spoken since. Slowly, slowly I think we are both hopeful that we will get back to where we are both comfortable again with each other. I am hopeful as I have missed her, and I believe she's missed me.

My best friend, Flick - who loves me, despite that I can be a horrible person sometimes. She knows all my secrets and is a very wise woman, who will give advice, so gently at times that I don't even know she's doing it! But, mostly we are honest with each other and I value her greatly.

My extended family - these are the only people who remember me growing up. One auntie ruffles my hair! Others just treat me as an equal, keep me informed and listen to me. They love my family, remember birthdays and anniversaries and all are surrogate mothers to me, as mine is less than able. My uncles all persuade me to give up smoking and tell me stories of when we were little. They all have the key to our family history for me and my family. Irreplaceable.

I live in the countryside in the country I wanted to be in. Every day I wake up thankful that I am here. It is blimmin' cold with heavy snow in the winter and the summer temperatures never get that high, especially as we are a great deal higher than sea level. I see deer and pheasant on a daily basis and rabbits are pests as well as making good eating.

I am becoming part of the local community, with voluntary and paid work that involve me with local people.

Though I'd love to be rich money-wise, I have enough to live on and the capacity to earn more as/when I need it. We don't have a mortgage to worry about, having bought a house to move to on our retirement in about 15 or so years' time, which we currently rent out.

My health will never be as well as it might be, but I am still able to get about and do most of what I want. I am back to cooking and doing most of the household tasks, which Mr T did, as well as all his own work while I was poorly. My sister recently remarked that I am usually either ill with my back, or recovering. Though these spells are moving closer as time goes on, I'm still able on the in-between times.

I now have the time to persue the hobbies I've always wanted to, such as knitting, sewing and taking up embroidery as well as writing.

I do have a lot to be thankful for and I am. Sometimes, obviously, I also have too much time to be irritated and shout a lot!

Thank you for listening.

Karen xx