Oh Damn!

Yep, this is me, swearing on these pages once again. This time, though it is serious stuff. I've just been down to London to visit my auntie Moreen, who is now dying from cancer.

About three years ago we knew she had bowel cancer. She was treated by the removal of some of her bowel, and the addition of a colostomy. Like me, she is not backwards in coming forwards on the detail front, so waddaya wanna know about it?!

This seemed to do the trick for some time. Then, there were concerns, some tests and then some bouts of chemotherapy. All seemed to be going well. But, then, my uncle (aged 78) fell from the ladder while attempting to get into the loft hatch; he crashed against the wall, while grabbing for the bannister on the first floor; missed and landed on his back on the bottom stair as he broke his heel on the balustrade. Owch! He was also being treated for asthma, but was not getting any better.

Meanwhile, Moreen was ill and becoming bedridden. Nobody knew the extent of either of their conditions.

My cousin went around to mend the balustrade and found his dad to be in a terrible state. He promptly got him to the doctor and hospital, and John was hospitalised with a collapsed lung. Cousin tried to take care of his mum but she was getting worse and then she was also hospitalised.

Dad (John) remarked to their three children that he wondered if the cancer had come back.

They asked 'What cancer?'

You can guess. She hadn't told their children, aged 42, 46 and 48 years, even about the 'first' cancer.

Moreen also hadn't told John or any of us that, in fact, the cancer had never gone away. She was never in remission. Now it is at a critical point. All the family have been to visit and say their goodbyes, and she is in a hospice for her last few days.

Trouble is the guilt is already there for her family, who feel they should have known. I do believe the anger will come later.

PS: i hAVE nOW sIGNED uP fOR RACE FOR LIFE 15 JUNE 2008, dUNDEE. pLEASE sPonSor Me.