A Smile - a Real One!

Apologies. It's a nanny thing.

I got a real smile today from Ellie! They say she's too young at two weeks and one day old but, when I greeted her with a 'hello you' she looked at me and her eyes lit up, then she grinned at me!

Apologies again, but I am in love!

My cup runeth over ...

... all because I have had the best nights' sleep in a year.

The story...

Last year we bought a new bed. All spiffing it was. Brown leather headboard and footboard. Quite the most modern thing we had had in, well, years. Sumptuous, with new leafy green bedding to go on it and everything.

Mr T doesn't like the bedding at all. But, I've bought it, and love it, so it gets used in rotation with our other stuff.

We have really treated ourselves to a goose down duvet, that is cool in the summer and warm in the winter. With only the small addition of my dressing gown over me, in the really, deep mid-winter.

However.

It was bloody uncomfortable, nay painful. To the point of near to tears each morning. So, not enough sleep, let alone quality sleep was making me tired and more than a tad grumpy.

We'd done all sorts, with the most recent trial of putting boards over the slats - a thin one for me and thicker one for Mr T. To no avail.

Then, yesterday I happened to pinch his half of the bed when he was on morning cuppa duty and, Bingo! Comfort.

So, yesterday Mr T and my bro, Wicker man went a hunting at the wood place and brought home the kill of a lovely, thick board to put over the whole of the slats.

I slept. I slept until 9.15! This is well better than the 4.30 - 6.30 I've been getting up in the morning over the last few months - too bloody painful to enjoy laying in.

Ah, well. Bliss.

Time moves on ...

... and baby Ellie is still very beautiful.

I had a call from nanny's best girl yesterday morning, to say that mummy was in a lot of pain and crying. So, the doctor was called, and I dashed down to her. Ooh, she was poorly.

Anyway, the doc arrived, pronounced no infection and prescribed some lovely, very strong painkillers. A couple of hours later an almost stoned mummy was sleeping and I got to look after them all for the day. Bliss! (for me, not mummy.)

Huge pile of ironing, and well sorted-out nursery and the family were all tucked up nicely, and she was much better when I saw her this morning. She'd really been over-doing it - all within a week of major abdominal surgery she'd - been making her own cups of tea, attended nanny's best girl's sports day, been shopping at T£sco, twice. Too, too much.

Yesterday was also our 32nd wedding anniversary. We reckon we've lasted so long because only one of us at a time has wanted to leave the other. If we'd both wanted to leave at the same time - we would have parted.

This stems, I suppose, from both of us having divorced parents. We honestly believed that people didn't stay married. But, we're still here, thankfully = best friends, and all. Well, most of the time. Well, sometimes!

He does think I'm mad, though. Tomorrow I shall be travelling umpteen miles to collect a free small chest of drawers from someone who is offering it on Freecycle Which is a brill site for people offering stuff they no longer need, and people offering homes for said stuff.

At least I don't have to work tomorrow evening, yay! We have some lovely people staying at the house that our boss owns. Sometimes, the people staying are ok, and only one so far has gotten right up my fucking nose, by being a right royal pain in the arse.

But, these ones are Gems - very polite, courteous, don't mess me about by asking for stuff I haven't prepared for, Clean Up after themselves (deep joy) keep their dogs under control and are just plain pleasant to be around and work for.

So, all's well in my world.

Oh, and nanny best girl has requested that only she be called that. Righto, I said. Her baby sister is now officially know as 'Lolly Dolly-Pop' because she is so scrummy etc, etc.

Ellie Florence Karen W.

Well, her name has changed a bit. Mum had gone off 'May,' and Dad didn't like 'Grace.' So they agreed on using Dad's mother's name.

But, she has arrived safely, by caesarean section, weighing in at 7lbs 7oz, at lunchtime today.

Hurrah! And Mum is doing very well after her op. She is very sore and very tired. But, she is also very in love with her new baby daughter.

Much love,

Nanny Karen xxx

Whinge Day Tuesday & Baby Blues

Apologies, this post will not be intriguing or spit your tea out funny, but may be informative.

My blog is for my private thoughts, whinges and rants. There are only a very special handful of people who actually know me in ‘real’ life, who know about this blog. This is because not only do they know me, but they love me despite that. (Translated into = I know I am being selfish.)

I have a hundred things to do today; this week in fact. But I can settle to none of them. I have hoovered through, checked my eB@y a lot and fannied about tidying my desk.

Our new grand-daughter will be born next Monday, by caesarean. A time of thrilled excitement, yes. And worry, too.

Mr T is having terrible back pain. He can’t sleep, can’t concentrate, and can’t do anything At All without being a grumpy git. I have back pain and lots of aching limbs, well four to be precise. Mr T is due to see the physiotherapist, who should be referring him for an MRI scan and to a consultant; and he’s paying a fortune (that he begrudges) to a chiropractor. My bad back has been with me since early teens and no more can be done.

However, a return to the main characters - our daughter, CW and our new baby grand-daughter.

CW is a beautiful, headstrong, vibrant woman who is desperate for another child. CW has, unfortunately, had three losses as previously mentioned in these posts.

Last July she had an ectopic pregnancy, which scared the living shit out of me, in case we might lose her. I’m afraid I lost sight of the baby she lost as I was so scared for her. At this time there was a fellow student who had lost his entire novel writing work, and there was lots of support and commiserations online for him. I wanted to strangle him, and shouted Fuck The Fuck Off! to the computer. I planted a little garden in honour of our loss.

After this, it was suggested that she wait three months before becoming pregnant again, and lo and behold, just before the three months was up she found out that she was indeed pregnant. Instead of being overjoyed, however, I just felt so angry.

Angry that she'd not waited the prescribed three months Before getting pregnant and, at what on earth was going to happen next; which I have no right to be at all as she is nearly 30 years old. Each of her three losses were unique, one in so many millions; no rhyme or reason why any or all of them should have happened to her; and certainly nothing to do with anything she had or hadn’t done. Just fucking nature doing its bit.

I know, that I cannot know, how it is for someone who's lost a child. But, I am a mother, CW's mother, and I would do it all for her, if I could. I love her and I'm scared.

It has been an awfully worrying time for her, coupled with the excitement. Which was exacerbated when she developed SPD – Symphasis Pubis Dysfunction* Ordinarily, the pelvis softens and widens in readiness for the birth, but with SPD it distorts and is extremely painful. She has had to use crutches when walking, cannot sit, lay or stand for long, cannot drive or use the toilet or bathe unaided, as she cannot open her knees more than 14cm.

CW did the most sensible thing she could think of and wrote me a letter, telling me how much she valued our friendship – which has always been so wonderful for her and me. She also outlined how worried she was about the baby and how unsupported she felt I was being.

I had found it difficult to get excited, until at least the second scan. Of course, physically, I was as supportive as ever, but not emotionally. I couldn’t let myself believe that, this time; it was actually going to happen. Until, last week, when visiting the consultant, who agreed to perform a caesarean section – next week, on 11 June.

Now, I am eagerly awaiting Ellie-May’s birth. But, I am so scared.

*SPD – info can be found here;

http://www.pelvicpartnership.org.uk