Sometimes I can be a bit thick, you know? I usually pride myself on being sensitive and reading the signs in people. Which I still do, in fact I'm quite an expert. What I'm not always expert at is taking those signs, recognising them even when I don't want them to be what they are. Signs - those things that point you in the right direction; the road you should take. The signs have now sunk in.
Twaddle and waffle, isn't it? Yes, but. Sorry, but this is about people again. Me and Mr T moved up to Scotland from the heart of England, in Cambridgeshire, where we had full working and very full social lives, becuase we fell in love with the scenery, and found the people to be friendly. Which, on the whole, remains true. The scenery is fantastic, and I've yet to visit a place where it is so stunningly beautiful.
But, the people. Again, on the whole, people is people and usually whether they are Scottish through and through; married to a Scot or, like me, have Scottish heritage in their past, people is nice.
Yet, where we currently stay is in a very small community. And, therein lies the rub. For some, not moving out of this little geographical elbow is hard, even to travel to the shops, some twelve miles away is to be planned for and not done lightly. For others, travelling around on the web is enough. But, for whatever kind some just have little, small minds. It sometimes is like being in a school playground, with those who are 'in' and those who are not. Emails or calls are not answered or returned, you are snubbed or just plain ignored when in company. And, these are people who I have given some rope as I know they have troubles of their own, as we all do. Some have thought I've said or done things against them - broken confidences etc. which I would never, ever do, even if 'someone put pins in my heels' as a long-standing pal would say.
And, there is the thing, isn't it? A long-standing pal - of which I do have many. Good, close friends, who love me warts and all. For whom I am so grateful, and some do read this - so Thank You.
Now then, I have had health issues over the last couple of years. None of which are 'life threatening' however, they are/have been debilitating and depressing. But, I have now more or less come to terms with them. I have spent enough, nay more than enough, energy on those people of whose signs I ignored. No more. I have a wonderful family, sparkly, special friends, work that I enjoy and a life I have managed to put together that is good and fruitful. And, there's plenty more of it left, and that is where I want to spend my energy.
I am such a lucky person and, as it's Spring then the clearing out of the rubbish is now being done. I'll just get some Mr Sheen on those signposts.
ps. I know this is a rant, and I won't apologise as this is my blog, which I initially started so that I had somewhere to be just me, myself, and all the shitty stuff could just be written.