An illegal day

I have been to Physio And I now have a cold neck due to a fairly short back and sides, though the front remains longish and stylish a la Jade (Apparently, loads of people are asking for a 'Jade' so I'm not the first. ) However, as I am nearly 50 years old alterations to the style had to be made. I digress.

Considering I am usually a law-abiding person I have had an illegal day today.

On the way home from the hairdressers I had to make a teensy, weensy tele-communication to Freaky Friday, my youngest adult child, to check if she wanted to take a look at my new look. And, some TWAT, together with some more TWAT's in his small lorry cab (what is the collective name for a group of hairy, dirty, leering TWATS?) decided he would tail-gate me.

This is on slightly wettish, snowyish roads mind, that still have the remnants of fallen tree trunks by the sides of them. Quite frankly I was scared. So, what to do? I rang Mr T and, at those points that this Orange Lorry Cab was back enough for me to see his number plate, I recited it out, ensuring said TWAT could see that I was looking at the plate And speaking to somebody.

Mr T's advice, quite rightly, was to pull over and allow the motorist to pass by. Bugger that!

So, did I heed this advice? Nah. I put on my hazards, so he fully flashed his lights at me. I turned off my hazards and stated straight ahead. War was now being declared. I very slowly creaped along the road while I had a think. As I continued in this slow fashion he seemed to get a bit cross ... it's funny how my little car then went slower on the bendy bits or past the double white liney things, but would pick up a jolly good speed along the straight bits. Until we reached small town and he turned off, so I know where he goes but he doesn't know where I goes, hah!

This journey home was after having driven to town almost blinded by the low sun on my muddy, dried windscreen; found a broken mobile 'phone and didn't hand it in; Omitted to tell JT the physio that I was 30 minutes late due to perusal of emails, blogs and, of course McKenna's cd: And Lied to JT when I told him that, of course I had been doing my excercises at least twice a day, been sitting in the correct chair and walked the recommended 20 minutes each day.

Some are lies, omissions and occasionally illegal but it's been an eventful day. Mr T LIKES my new hairdo and we are off to a Pub Quiz this evening - where, I swear, I will not cheat. What's next for me then, International Jewel Thief?

Am I thin yet?

Well, I've been to Yoga tonight. For something that I thought was going to be laying down or just slowly wafting about to waffly music, it Wasn't, ow. There was candlelight and waffly, tinkly music but it was stretching and leaning and bending and stuff. There was also a bit of one-upwomanship in that some of the women had bought, yes bought special foam blocks to lay their heads upon - instead of using a jumper or pillow. O, and why is it always me that is the only one who has to fart?

I think, now that I've eaten my dinner (meatballs a la Nigella) I shall have a bath and go to my bed. I shall sleep tonight. And the teacher's voice wasn't as gravelly as that McKenna's.

I am, for the first time since about August last year, having my hair cut tomorrow, hooray! I can't afford to have all the highlights and stuff done, this time but I shall ask for my usual - to look young, slim, sexy and gorgeous, ahem. If they don't laugh I shall stay, but the answer I do like is 'Yes, madam, that will not take long.