Poste Haste

Poste Haste is an expression I suddenly used sometime last week, and just seem to be using it all the time.

Like, just now, when I heard that those clever gals, Annie, Jude and Cathy, on the A215 Survivors (OU) have made a new blogsite for us to write book reviews and send them in for discussion.

You, dear reader, can have a look at the site here, and Join In Do!

bookersatz

Now, where did I put that last book I read ....... and what did I think of it, oh yes, I know ...............

Knicker Change

Erm, yes, literally. No, this isn't a further virus bulletin, so don't worry. It's just that I do feel rather wobbly and, if I move quickly, or *whisper* talk for any kind of length of time, I'm liable to fall over as if I have the vapours. Not a pretty sight at the mo' especially as I could best be described as a scraggy witch eg. dark circles under the eyes, no need to put in me teeth as no-one is going to see me, still in my jarmas and dressing-gown. You get the picture.

Well, Mr T, star that he is has kindly refresshed the bed, so I was sitting there in the quiet, having some clean laundry to put away. So, looked into the nightie drawer and decided to shuffle stuff about and then clear it out of anything that I hadn't worn in the past year. Needless to say this was done, just keeping those cute little pair of summer pj's I bought, oh, about, now let me see, how many years ago? Haven't ever worn them, but they had a stay of execution as I Will fit into them .... maybe not quite this summer, but soon, soon.

Then, ta DA, came the Knicker drawer. I won't bore you with all the numbers, but suffice it to say that at least 21 pairs finally went into the bin (leaving just 14 'holiday' pants, 13 good-enough pants and those gorgeous 6 new pairs) even though they still had loads of wear in them. You see, this is a crux of the matter. They were all still very serviceable, and that's why so many usually remain.

The other crux is that as I am of the larger variety of sexy bombshell (not today, not today) I do just love pretty and sexy underwear. And, I really do feel that just because I'm not a size - er, what size does a slim woman wear now? - there is no reason on this earth why I should not wear gorgeous underthings. Thank goodness M & S and other outlets agree.

But, the secret, that I have only just, this day, worked out - is to get rid of stuff, if you are buying new so that the whole house isn't clogged to the hilt. So, if I can't stop myself purchasing new undies, then a knicker change it has to be.

Dear Diary ....

Yes, dear diary I am feeling glum today. Actually, I am feeling like shit. I have this parvo or novo virus thing that is currently entertaining us around the country. I had the vomiting on Saturday, no, sorry diary, you really don't want to hear all the details, though, if you had been close enough, hear you would have done.

Mr T is currently out hunting, as men do, for the Imodium (that he said would be good, but I'm only taking now that I've spoken to a proper doctor) and some coke that I may sip at intervals. No food then, for a third day etc. etc. boring stuff.

So, I was listening to that lovely 19 year old singer, Adele, on 'This Morning' and realising she has such a beautiful talent, and years and years ahead of her to fullfil her potential. And she will go far, you can hear it.

And, there's me (Warning: Feeling Sorry For Self Here) been stuck here since before Xmas with a sodding rotten, bad back - and now the lurgey! Will I EVER feel better, feel human? Will I ever keep to the arrangements I have made to sit on the fostering panel, attend committee meetings and do the things I said I would do? Will I ever just go out the door and enjoy a walk?

I know, I know. I do know, really.

And then.

I think I shall pour out my woes to my friends from the ether, clock in, and there's a lovely, lovely Award! From Dusting for Spiders Thank you so much, Flick, You are a Star!

Here endeth the blimmin' blues.

And, there has been one bit of silver lining - due to my innards not being accepting of anything at all. I had to stop the huge amounts of extremely strong painkilling medication for the last few days. And, though I am only sitting or laying around.......... so far, not too bad, so this may mean a great reduction in medicine = can drive the car legally. When I am up and about of course.

Self-Expanding

I'm starting a new job!

It's only for two days a week. And, it won't interfere with my daily dose of 'Homes Under the Hammer,' 'To Buy or Not to Buy' or anything. I will still be able to go out and see my mates for lunch, attend the weekly crafters' group, do my part-time study, be on the local community hall committee, and attend the fortnightly fostering panel meetings, etc.

Oh, and I'll continue with the two part-time day jobs I already have. And, I shall have company.

This newest one is going to be facinating, frustrating, physical, wearing, full of pleasure and joy, give me extra washing. But, I shall also learn how to put up the highchair in the kitchen, one-handed, Use Real Nappies, play colours, blocks and peep-bo, as well as taking pictures on my mobile to send to mummy.

Yep, hooray! I am going to be looking after my beautiful baby grand-daughter on two days a week, while mummy goes to work.

My interview for the post only lasted the thirty years it took to raise mummy.

ps. the back Is improving all the time, but nanny will need grandad's help at the beginning. Mr T just loves the way I include him in all my plans.

I simply cannot believe .....

That it has been so long since I last posted!



Well, I have been quite busy, trying to get myself better. I did visit the Physio at the hospital and what a shitty, waste of time that was. Bitter? Moi? You bet. He told me they cannot help me, due to my back history, I am already partially disabled and, all they'll probably do is give me a referral to a pain clinic, to manage my pain, and assist me with aids and adaptions! Fuck Off, unfortunately is what I did not say to his face for being so damned negative.



So, I returned to my lovely, lovely Chiropractor, Marie, and sobbed all over her. She agrees with me, I am not disabled and won't be for many a long year. Now, don't get me wrong, if I was disabled, then, like so many people, including my lovely brother, I would have to adapt, and my life would simply change its Way of being. I know loads of people who have a disability to varying degrees. And, the one thing I do know, is that it is all down to attitude.



But, that ain't me, yet.



Marie has seen me twice a week for the past three weeks, and we seem to have turned a corner. I can do so much more now! Bathing myself, some part of cooking the dinner of an evening, even making cups of tea for Mr T! Boy, is he grateful that there is some movement - and is looking forward to the day that I can do the ironing and hoovering (from past experience, this will be some time - shame, eh? :o) )

To thank Marie profusely, I have knitted her a felted bag and am in the process of making her a lovely pair of bluey-lilac socks. When espying these items, nanny's best girl was enquiring as to who they were for. When informed of the lovely Marie, I told her that she would like her. Nanny's best girl's question?



'Why, does she give out stickers? I love stickers!'



Oh, to be aged 10 again.

Well, waddaya know?

Even a few years ago, you wouldn't have known it would happen, and so soon. I didn't want to watch Harry Potter again on the telly. So, I watched a different programme on the telly, in the same room and at the same time!

The good ol' BBC have come up terumps again. I used the BBC iPlayer clicky thingy on their home page, to find last night's Johnathan Ross and watched the brill comedian Chris Rock again. This was after watching this morning's Click that I missed.

Well, not one to enjoy just sitting watching telly while doing nothing else, I got on with my knitting (socks for nanny's best girl) at the same time, all in front of a lovely fire.

Yay, for multi-tasking. But, a bigger YAY for blimmin' technology, I say!

Acting's the best medicine

Nope, the back is still not better. It did get a bit better before Christmas but, as I'd gone back to work and worked hard, the bloody thing was back again, and worse. I jumped about in the doc's surgery cos I'd run out of Tramadine and was trying to cope with the co-codamol. Arrgh, sooo painful. Anyhow, she has made an urgent referral to a neurosurgeon, who will, hopefully take pictures and tests and may be able to do a small, keyhole op. to release the nerve.

But, in the meantime, I have learned lots;

- Before you go to bed, get everything ready for the morning, ie pills, water, biscuits.
- Put the plug in the bath the night before, to save one movement of leaning over the edge.
- If poss. get someone to run the hot bath, which I need in order to face the day and get me ready for my first walk of the day.
- Walk - despite it being nearly as much agony as actually getting out of bed and walking to the bathroom, it does do some good.
- Clean your teeth later. I cannot stand over the sink to clean my teeth first thing. If you're not going out anywhere, it can wait until later. But, I did forget, on Boxing Day, to put in my dental plate, and consequently had a whole day's visit to in-laws with a gert big gap, ho hum.
- Shower later. I can't wash my hair in the bath and again, cannot stand for long in the morning, and don't like to go to bed with wet hair, so I luxuriate in an afternoon shower.
- Request visitors to not put down the toilet lid. The seat, yes!
- Don't take your pills while standing over the kitchen sink, without the plug in place. - If you do drop a pill down there, it is a bugger to try and work out which one it was, having swallowed the rest.
- Drink plenty, doesn't matter if it's tea, water or lemon barley. Bad back plus constipation is not a good mix, and the lactulose medicine can be violent.
- Sex, no. Cuddles yes, most important.
- Can't hold a book while reading in bed? Download books onto iPod (or, use a tape or cd machine.)
- Can't see the telly from bed? Watch a film or BBCi programme on your wireless laptop, strategically placed.
- Have to be on your own in the house while in bed? Ensure the phone and laptop or telly remote are in arms reach. I spent a few hours without tea, company, breakfast etc one morning as Mr T went about his worky business, not realising I was a) awake and b) gasping for the above mentioned.
- Make sure you have at least two walks Every Day, and remember to take your phone and fags to have a rest, halfway through.
- When even the kettle is too heavy to lift, do at least use your milk from the jug.
- The bed is minging, after its not been changed for over a week. Remember the big lesson of courtesy - ask Mr T what he is up to tomorrow, then politely ask if he'll change it, same with any hoovering, laundry, toilet cleaning, medicine collecting, taking me out in the car for a change of scenery.
- The courtesy lesson is also useful in relation to food, particularly the food he has lovingly or begrudgingly prepared - lie if it's horrible, just get on with it with a smile and a thank-you.
- Food and diets, don't diet, but do eat a lot less as, without moving around the place so much, you will get fatter and that won't help so, too, do resist the temptation to eat toffees, chocolate, bread and jam, no, no, n0. Though, luckily, being so stuffed full of medication, and with a dental plate making me feel sicky, it's not so much of a problem.
- Be polite and full of thank-yous, it stops people from hating you or hating having to do things for you.
- Shop, it's what the internet was made for, wasn't it? And, as you are not out and about working, shopping, buying coffees or lunches, or meeting up with your mates, you must be saving enough to buy that lovely cardi M&S or Next have on sale, just in your size, surely.

But, the greatest thing I have learned over these last few weeks, is how to act. I act cheerful, and behave as if I am. It is only my best mate who knows how I really feel. I cry only when I'm on my own, the bath is the bestist place for this, and not sad at all, as I don't like crying in front of people. So, as I've been treading the boards of cheerfulness as 'twer, I've found it has not only kept my own spirits up, it has also done the same for those around me. Speaking of whom, Mr T and our daughter have been the biggest stars of this drama and its lessons. I could not have done without them. They not only have looked after me, they have done my work, ferried me to the chiropractor, and so much more. My love to them.

Here endeth the lesson for today. xxx